I came across this while I was digging through my archives for every poem I ever wrote. This was actually a blog I posted back when I was on My Space.
We are fortunate that certain things and beings in Nursery rhymes, old wives tales, urban legends and "those stories" your parents or friends tell you late at night are not truly real, because the following would be on my shit list for a whack job.
10.) Faeries alleged to be around Mushroom rings:
You owe grocery money, bitches!
9.)Santa Claus: No Show
Maybe it was the 22 or the pistol. Maybe it's because we were always
peeking, or maybe it's because Mom was always a Nightowl and Number ..8
warned him about...
8.)The Easter Bunny:
Frequently called in Sick and lost about a dozen eggs. Don't blame him,
though - Mom always had a .22 somewhere nearby - but those eggs!
7.)The Little Man Who Will Steal Your Toes If You Don't Put Your Feet Back
Under the Blanket:
Missing in Action. Chicken livered little brownie, we dared him all the time.
6.)Big Foot:
No call, no show - at least a dozen times.
5.)Tooth Fairy:
Maybe Mom whacked her, since I saw her sneaking to put a whole dollar under my sister's pillow with an apologetic look on her face. Was that marinara sauce under her nails?
4).Willow-The-Wisp
Chased off all the fish and 'gators with excessive flatulence
3.)Bloody Mary:
Repeatedly declines invitation to Slumber parties. A roomful of girls is a frightening thing, after all.
2).The Bogey Man
repeatedly a No-Show, probably ducked behind Bloody Mary's skirt hem.
and the number one Thingie which needs to be whacked is....
1.The Sandman!
Frequently late.
I'd like to kick his ass and steal his bag!
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